October 28, 2005 --There's going to be a war waged over the Gulf of Eastport this weekend -- and you're invited.

Minister of War Bob Janda said that the Maritime Republic of Eastport once again has declared war on the City of Annapolis. The MRE demands that the city surrender all property and persons - and everything else. Failing to do so, they are hereby challenged to face the citizens of the MRE in the longest tug of war across water in the world.

The Eighth Annual Slaughter Across the Water will begin at the Susan B. Campbell Park at the end of the City Dock and at 2nd Street in Eastport at the crack of 10:30 a.m. tomorrow.

But who are these MRE folks, the ones issuing the challenge?

The concept of the MRE began in a local pub over a couple of beers. The mission of the MRE was to find a creative way to successfully promote Eastport businesses while the drawbridge linking the Eastport peninsula with mainland Annapolis was closed for repairs. The MRE was officially founded on Super Bowl Sunday 1998 when the residents of Eastport rose up in revolt and severed all social, economic and political ties with the City of Annapolis.

"The Maritime Republic of Eastport was founded because the bridge connecting Eastport to Annapolis was going to be closed for repairs for three weeks. That would hurt Eastport businesses. So we revolted. We even seceded from the United States in support of our businesses," said MRE Premier Jessica Pachler.

Since then, the MRE has become a driving force to be reckoned with. Promoting civic awareness in the community while having barrels of fun, they now raise thousands of dollars for charity each year through unusual and creative events such as the utterly amazing Slaughter Across the Water Tug of War. Over the last seven years the Tug of War has raised more than $165,000 for charity.

"Last year we gave $18,000 to charities. This year our goal is $21,403," said Ms. Pachler in reference to Eastport's ZIP code.

As minister of war, it is Mr. Janda's duty to ensure that all necessary equipment and troops are in place by tomorrow morning. That includes the specially made 1,700-foot-long rope that is extended across the Gulf of Eastport (aka the Annapolis harbor) from the City Dock to Second Street.

Designed especially for this event by Yale Cordage of Biddeford, Maine, the rope carried a replacement value of $23,488.50 at the time of its purchase.

"There are two criteria when designing this rope," said Mr. Janda.

"First, it has to float and second, it cannot break! The rope holds 30,000 pounds - close to the weight of a bus," he said. "We put roughly 3,000 pounds on it at the peak of the tug."

Minister of Athletics Andy Terry (so titled because of his ability to mount a barstool in a single bound) had the opportunity to handle the revered rope for several tugs and has some stories to tell. One in particular concerns a rope trick.

"We have two pep rallies the two Fridays before the tug," he said. "We have them in local bars on both sides. We bring out the rope and have a rope inspection. Then there's the Blessing of the Rope. And we let people touch it if they want. Anyway, we had the rope set out on the sidewalk in front of Sean Donlon's while we were rolling it from one spool to another. Some guy comes by and says, 'You really know some great bar tricks!' "

In past years, the Tug of War was traditionally held at the crack of noon. However this year, the competitions will start at 10:30 a.m. tomorrow. There will be seven heats with approximately 30 tuggers on each team. The heats will include the following categories:

Financial Fracas - battle of the Banks, BB&T versus Annapolis Bank & Trust.

Battle of the Bars - you guessed it, pub patrons from both sides of the water.

Battle of the Brawn - Gold's Gym versus Annapolis Athletic Club.

Feminine Fray - the women of Eastport versus the women of Annapolis.

Co-ed Calamity - all co-ed participants.

Clash of the Men - also known as the Testosterone Tug.

Surprise Tug - heaven only knows!

The festivities begin at 10 a.m. with live music serenading participants and spectators as they arrive. The Annapolis Harbor will be shut down to boat traffic from 9:45 a.m. until noon. The first tug begins at 10:30 a.m. sharp. After the last heat is won, the celebration begins.

This year's Tugfest, at the Spa Creek end of 2nd Street in Eastport, will include a silent auction and a chili cook-off. Local establishments will provide food and beverages and there's live music until 5 p.m. New to the Tugfest this year is an Irish Rower's Regatta and a classic car show on the Annapolis side.

The Dreadnots steel drum band will accompany the activities on the Annapolis side at City Dock in the morning, while on the Eastport side the Elementary Orchestra will perform.

Also performing on the Eastport side will be:

10:35 a.m.-12:15 p.m. - Tiki Barbarians (island-influenced, folk-inspired, boogie-woogie swing and blues).

12:30-1:45 p.m. - Bens Bones (acoustic rock).

2-3:15 p.m. - Blue Thrill (rhythm and blues).

3:30-4:45 p.m. - The Geckos (Caribbean rock).

The MRE invests a lot of effort into the tug and Tugfest.

"We started preparing at least four months in advance," said Joyce Bolton, the Maritime Republic of Eastport's minister of propaganda. "Lots of different people are involved.

"We are a volunteer organization. The expenses are pretty large like, for example, putting the sound system across the water. We need to get some more sponsors. And we need more tuggers!"

Megan Jones has been with the tug for five years. This is her second year as the tug captain for the MRE's women's team.

"I'll really try to have 30 women by the 29th. I'll go to the bars to sign girls up - I did that last year. I have people from last year I can call. And there are friends of friends," said Ms. Jones.

"I have a secret strategy that I'll tell my team the morning of. There's definitely a secret to winning the tug!"

Brett and Megan Cureton, who run Easy Street in downtown Annapolis, are the Annapolis co-ed team's tug captain and the Annapolis women's tug captain respectively. They're also organizers for the "Annapolis side."

"It's a free-for-all!" said Megan.

"A tug only lasts 30 seconds to a minute. Anyone can tug for 30 seconds. Anyone can come. It only costs $20 to tug. The money goes to charity and you get a really cool T-shirt that only the tuggers get. Everyone brings the kids and afterwards we all go to the Eastport side and have a huge party. It's really silly and a lot of fun. I don't know anyone who doesn't have a good time."

Megan is still looking for volunteers to come join the fun and tug.

"I try to get professional trainers and business people to tug. I try to get all of my friends. I'll even grab up tourists off the street. I'm still looking for tuggers! I'll be the blonde with the hat asking if anyone wants to tug!"

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Interested in sponsoring, tugging, volunteering or spectating? Call Jessica Pachler at 410-961-5500 for more information. You may also e-mail the MRE at mre_info@yahoo.com.

Published October 28, 2005, The Capital, Annapolis, Md.
Copyright © 2005 The Capital, Annapolis, Md.