Ambassador's Ball 2001

Forget the Inaugurals! This was the hottest ticket in town!

Cindy Fletcher-Holden, Prime Mistress of the Maritime Republic of Eastport, the Daughters of the Eastport Revolution, and the Honorable Ellen O. Moyer, MRE Ambassador to the Mainland, invited one and all to the fourth annual Ambassador’s Independence Ball at the Eastport Clipper, on Saturday, January 27, 2001.

The ball marked the third anniversary of the founding of the tongue-in-cheek break-away republic. Eastport "seceded" from the City of Annapolis as part of a pro-business campaign in January, 1998, when the State Highway Administration closed and repaired the drawbridge connecting the Eastport peninsula with the mainland.

As Josh Cohen, former MRE Premier and chairman of the event, explained, "You don’t have to be an Eastporter to participate in the celebration. It’s like being Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. Everybody’s invited to join the fun."

Above, from The Capital, Sunday, Jan 28, 2001

The fun began at 6 p.m., when MRE patriots gathered for a cash bar and heavy hors d’oeuvres. The program began at 7 p.m., featuring original music by Them Eastport Oyster Boys and comments from past and current MRE leaders and VIP guests. The popular dance band, Carey Ziegler’s Expensive Hobby, began performing for the public at 9 p.m. The décor included memorabilia from MRE’s glorious history, gathered and displayed by the Prime Mistress and historian Jane Cox, who was recently nominated as the new Minister of Republican Archives.

Admission was $15 per person. Tickets were limited and went fast.

Citizens: Herein contains an announcement of the Ambassador's Independence Ball, and thereupon immediately following is an historical explanation of a terrible injustice which is finally being corrected.

The fourth annual Ambassador's Independence Ball is scheduled for Saturday, January 27th at the Eastport Clipper. Doors open at 6 o'clock.

Presented by the Daughters of the Eastport Revolution, the Ball will celebrate the Republic's three incredibly revolting years of independence. Live musical entertainment will be provided by "Her Prime Mistress's Own" Them Eastport Oyster Boys. Attire is Eastport Formal. Hors d'oeuvres are complimentary; drinks are cash bar. This year, Jane Cox, Minister of Republican Archives, will display a special exhibition chronicling the illustrious achievements and infamous ne'er-do-wells of the Republic's first three years.

Today's fun at last millennium's prices: Tickets are $15.00 and are limited, so get yours today! Stop by Eastport Copy at 419 Fourth Street, or call Tracey Voorhees at 410 269-6399.

Please Note: This year, MRE is BREAKING WITH TRADITION and holding the Ball on a Saturday -- not Friday -- evening!

Great philosophers have often pondered the following important question: Why is Happy Hour only celebrated during the week, and not on the weekend? With its usual diligence and public service, the MRE Revolutionary Council has uncovered the deep, dark answer to this question: It is yet another injustice perpetrated upon the working women and men of Eastport by their oppressors on the Mainland!

The Mainlanders long ago discovered a devious method of motivating their Eastport subjects to comply with a grueling five-day workweek. Prompted by the executives of mighty intergalactic corporations with no regard for basic human needs, the council of Westport decreed that Happy Hour could only be celebrated after a day's work. It was an ingenious plan. For centuries, good Eastporters (whose natural state was sloth and inertia), have untiringly lifted their weary bodies from their beds to go work five days a week, their sole strength deriving from the knowledge that a joyful Happy Hour awaited at the end of the day.

Quoth the Ravens, Nevermore! In planning for the Ambassador's Ball, the MRE Revolutionary Council has BROKEN WITH HISTORY and CHAMPIONED THE RIGHTS OF ALL EASTPORTERS to BE HAPPY AND CELEBRATE. By moving the Ball to a Saturday, the Council has extended the chief benefit of the work week (namely, the post-workday celebration of Happy Hour) without the corresponding requirement of working!

It is truly a cause for rejoicing. Up the Republic!

About the 2003 Ball - Jan. 24, 2003